Thursday, February 23, 2012

Thirsty Thursday & Truths for Mature Humans

Happy Thursday my pretties!
Came across this lil diddy on Pinterest
Im sure you've seen it before.
I've found some answers to them!
These are def first world problems...

I think part of a best friends job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
(Any volunteers??)
Source: via Kathryn on Pinterest

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
(rarely am I wrong, but this is when you start correcting grammer)

I totally take back all the times when I was younger and didn't want to nap.
(somedays I would choose napping over eating)

There is a great need for sarcasm font
(true! Im actually really mean and people think I'm sarcastic)

How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
(got it!)

Was learning cursive really necessary?
(That's a hell no!)

Mapquest really needs to start their directions on #5, I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood...
(although this one should have edited their directions, a canoe??)

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they said how they died.
(I always read these, my dad has decided he's going to alter the day he died so it can be on his birthday...)

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kinda tired
(I'm a mom, Im always tired!)

Bad decisions make good stories.
(You know its' going to be a good story when it starts "so this bitch")

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know you aren't going to be doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
(umm, that never happens to me...)

Can we all just ignore what comes after blu ray?
I don't want to start my collection over again.
(and mp3, seriously!)

Im always slightly terrified when I got to exit word and it asks me if I want to save any changes made to my ten page technical report that I swear I didn't make any changes to.
(not a problem for me. Technical, ten page, huh?)
Source: via Brenda on Pinterest

Do not machine wash or tumble dry.
Which means I will never wash this, ever.
(I don't buy those kinds of clothes)

 I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
( tag you're it, and now I will purposelly not answer your call, just to prove a point...)

Source: via Ken on Pinterest

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
(this just means I can wear the same clothes tomorrow, what??)

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 
(truth, I also put first and last names. Which is difficult when I only call someone by their last name and can't remember their first name)

 I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 
(why is there not one??)

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

 I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option. 
(this relates back to #7)
Source: via Shay on Pinterest

Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
(this still happens with movies I watch now and discuss with friends)

I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. 
(haven't had a bag break on me yet and I am surprisingly strong!)

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. 
(or when I'm doing my makeup, these are the only time I ever get green lights)
(If there is an officer of the law reading this, totally kidding. I would never do that...)

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 
(I don't have time to be bored or to eat, does not apply!)

 How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
(smile and wave folks)

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
(smile and wave applies here too! Except it's with my middle finger!)

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 
(umm, no disagree! They get washed every time, because they will fall of my ass if I don't. Again, no time to eat!)

Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year? 

There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

 Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 
( I think I missed the class where they taught us how to read a clock...)
I have no idea??

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my *** everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Whew, that was a lot!!

1 comment:

Karla said...

HAHAH good way to start my morning! I love "Speaking in cursive"! lol and hello I HATE it when I actually take time to do my makeup and I do nothing special.. what uh waste!