Tuesday, December 13, 2011

You are my sunshine

When life gets tough, I tend to focus on the negatives.
Then, I hear from a friend something that has happened in their life.
Something that hurts my heart
And, all I want to do is take their pain away,
make them not hurt,
heal them.
But, I can't.
Then only thing I can do is be there for them.
No matter how far away they live,
how little we talk.
That doesn't make a friend.
Quality over Quantity.

I don't have all the answers, crap, I rarely have one of the answers.
Life is a dance and you have to know the choreography in order to make it out.
I know everything happens for a reason.
I believe in that.
It's easier to believe when it's the good, but then the bad comes along.
You ask:
Why me?
Why Them?

Last night, my son was being unusually clingy.
Don't get me wrong, this boy likes to snuggle.
But it seemed like he needed it more than usual.
So, I put my computer down, my phone on silent, turned the TV off and gave him my undivided attention.
I rocked him, like I did when he was a baby.
My big boy doesn't fit in my arms like he used to:(
I actually missed him being a lil one...
He asked me to sing him my special song.
No, not the Thong song or Baby got back...
Yes, I do know the words to those songs as well, but that's for a different time and place.
No faith guys, I tell ya;)

Its really hard for me to sing this song.
It makes me cry, for some unknown, ridiculous reason.
My mom used to sing it to me when I was little and to this day, if she sings it I start blubbering like a fool. 
You are my sunshine.

I always tell my son he is my sunshine, and he asks:
"When skies are grey"?
Even when skies are grey he lights up my life:)
So, I sang it and sang it again and then really listened to the words in the second verse.

"You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are grey.
You'll never know dear,
how much I love you
so please don't take my sunshine away".

"The other night dear
while I was sleeping,
I dreamt I held you
in my arms.
When I awoke dear
I was mistaken and I hung my head
and I cried... "

Sad, right?

Today, I send my love out to my dear friend. I may not be there physically to hug you
and to help you through this time in your life.
Please know that I am thinking of you constantly and sending you good thoughts.
You are an amazing mommy, a wonderful wife and a great friend!
I love you to the moon and back!
I know it 's hard right now, but all in good time.


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